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Sunday, June 23, 2013

After Nelson Mandela: Thoughts From My Father

When my father was alive, he used to say, sarcastically of course, that when he would be about to die, he would cut off his head and leave it with me so that his head may be giving me advice on how to conduct my life. He would say this to register his disappointment when he saw that I did not do well what he thought, based on what he had taught me, I should have done really well. Saying that he would leave his head with me when he was gone was a way of saying that I should not think he would always be around to be telling me what to do. He wanted me to grow up and learn to take initiative rather than waiting for him to tell me what to do and how to do it. He wanted me to pay attention to what he was teaching me so that when he was gone to the land of our ancestors, I would know how to conduct myself. Thus, my father imprinted in me the idea that he was not always going to be around and that I ought to know how to conduct my life in his absence.

The story of Mandela's eventual passing to the land of our ancestors and the mournfulness surrounding the whole process has led me to think of what my father used to say to me. He was intent on impressing on me that he would not live for ever. My dad passed away when he was about seventy years old and even though I was not ready to see him go, I knew that he had taught me how to be a human being. In short, he had prepared me for life after him.

Surely, Mr. Mandela has prepared South Africa for life after him. Looking at the life of Mr. Mandela, one can hardly doubt that as a leader, he has taught South Africans how to live and how to go on living after him. The whole question about what would happen to South Africa after his death brings sadness in me because the question implies that he has not taught South Africans what to do in his absence. Like me when I was growing up, South Africans seem to think that he would be around for ever to be telling them what to do. If South Africans fail to live up to the high ideals which Mr. Mandela had for had for them, that would not be because Mr. Mandela did not prepare them well. They saw  his sacrifice, his tenacity, his kindness, and his struggle for the downtrodden. One of the best ways South Africa can honor the memory of Madiba is to make sure that his vision for the country is fostered. Surely, South Africans do not want Madiba to cut off his head and live it with them as he is about to pass on to the land of our ancestors.

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