Many may be scandalized by the very suggestion that Paul Biya is Cameroon’s God; but they should not be. Paul Biya became God since he became president of Cameroon in 1982. Or is it that he has always been Cameroon’s God but we, docile Cameroonians, just did not know it? It may well be that before Cameroon was, Paul Biya is.
If this is not the case, how else can one explain the fact that since Paul Biya became the president of Cameroon he has become the epitome of goodness, in fact, good itself? Out of the goodness of his generous heart, he has created Cameroon in his image, given it well-being and prosperity, and brought democracy to the people. Without Paul Biya, Cameroon would not be the perfect example for the world to emulate. Paul Biya, the God of Cameroon, has called Cameroonians by name and made them a people after his own heart, the new Israel. He makes no errors, for God does not make errors. Even if God makes errors, that is no one’s business, for it is in the nature of God to be accountable to no one. So no one is even capable of knowing whether God (that is, Paul Biya) has made an error or not.
The only thing people need to do is to praise him, for God is to be praised. In fact, in the awesome presence of God, feeble and fallible human minds must stoop. I have heard that in the history of human beings, some humans have had the effrontery to question the ways of God. I am not sure they would have been so bold if they had encountered his awesome incarnation in Paul Biya. Accountability is something which God does not do and neither should people expect it of Paul Biya. The only commendable attitude humans must show God (that is, Paul Biya) is deference and humility. The reason for this is simple: the destiny of all human beings, or more precisely, the destiny of all Cameroonians, is in the hands of God (Paul Biya). He is the only one who has the well being of Cameroonians at heart. Without him there would have been no Cameroon and after him . . . well, there will be nothing after him. We cannot speak of an after when we talk of God. God does not die. That is why God is King for ever. Who can presume to oppose you, O Paul Biya, who can presume to oppose you, the Mighty One of Cameroon? You are Alpha and Omega. Without You we would all perish! For we are like grass, here today and gone tomorrow. But you, our Lord Paul Biya, lasts forever!
It is the case that some people may hold grudges against God: people have always held grudges against God but God has always prevailed. That is why those who are wise know that the best attitude towards God is one of worship – especially if they want their life to go well. Many university professors and journalists in Cameroon are well aware of this, which is why they have adopted the posture of adulation. Many of these people may claim that they are Christians or Muslims, or that they belong to other religions that hold that God is qualitatively different from Paul Biya. However, they have come to be convinced that all these religions are lies. Deep down, they believe that there is no God besides Paul Biya. If there were any other God besides Paul Biya, that God could have been providing people’s daily needs. But clearly only Paul Biya provides. He appoints ministers, governors, divisional officers, principals, etc. He is the Fon of fons, Chief of chiefs, and Lord of lords. Every knee is bowing and every tongue is now confessing that Paul Biya is Lord, especially after his appointment of Yang as Prime Minister of Cameroon. Everyone knows that the best way to be on the good side of God (that is, Paul Biya) is to sing his praise. We shall praise you, O Lord Paul Biya, we your people shall praise you!
It is clear that Paul Biya was born and raised in Cameroon. But that does not mean that he is not God. Jesus Christ was born in Bethlehem but Christians still believe that he is God. However, Paul Biya has replaced Jesus Christ. It has been revealed to many people in Cameroon, to priests and pastors, deacons and ushers, the older people, those who work for the government, and those who belong to the CPDM, that Paul Biya is God; not the son of God. Paul Biya cannot be the son of God because that will be demeaning to him; he cannot be number two to anyone. That may entail the lurking danger that he may be answerable to someone! No. Frank Biya, Paul Biya’s son, is the son of God (Paul Biya).
I know there would be many people in this country who would count it as blasphemy that Paul Biya is said to be God. That should be attributed to their hardness of heart and unwillingness to believe. To them, I would say: have faith. With enough faith it would not be hard to see this. If they find it hard to have faith, they should contact me for further explanation and prayer. But I do not think that it would get to that point because many people in the country already believe that Paul Biya is God. Those who do not yet believe would not find it hard to find converts in Cameroon. They should contact any of the fons and the chiefs for enlightenment. If this fails, they should read Cameroon Tribune and watch CRTV daily, for this is the holy book and hymnal of those who believe that Paul Biya is God. If they still have no success they should contact directors of ENS, ENAM, EMIA and chancellors of all the universities in Cameroon, all of whom are disciples of our God, Paul Biya. To him be glory, honor and praise, now and for ever. Amen.
This piece was inspired by Achile Mbembe’s “The Thing and Its Double in Cameroonian Cartoons”